Star Trek Beyond (2016)

By Jeffrey A. Friedberg, News Man


I happened to stumble across this movie last night, and watched it. Rotten Tomatoes gives it an 84%. I hated it but what do I know?

This is a really dumb, bad, plotless movie, stuffed to the warp nacelles with gratuitous CGi gone wild (LOOK WHAT WE CAN DO!) I mean, it was a commercial for CGi.

It is replete with terrible, embarrassing  “aliens” makeup, bad acting, terrible cinematography, awful lines, and just plain stupid jumping around.

I could do without the stupid rubber mask make up. I guess the CGi budget was so big they had to dig up old masks and rework them.

Old Masks

The plot of this movie is so dumb and stupid that it rivals the Original Worst Star Trek episode, The Way To Eden.

The Way To Eden

I do like Chris Pine as Kirk, but I don’t like the Spock character anymore. Nobody can be Spock (Leonard Nimoy).

Leonard Nimoy (Left), in COMANDO CODY, (1952)

None of the other characters ring true for me. Also, in this film, they all seem bored or distracted. Uhura looks as if she wishes she had a wrist watch she could check and get the hell out of the scene.

But nobody wears a watch in Star Trek….

“Dammit, Jim, I’m a doctor, not a wrist watch!”

I thought the highlighted homosexual males scene was gratuitous, trite, and forced.

The theme of this film seems to be “the Progressive Power Of We.” It takes a village…or a nebula , or something Liberal, I dunno….

I mean—”The United Federation of Planets”?

Come ON! That’s, all, like, One World. One Galaxy. What BS. Have you noticed, nobody in Star Trek has money or pockets?

I mean, They just hammer it to death: that we are stronger together.

“We.” Kirk repeats the theme about 6 times. I don’t agree but that’s another story….


Yes the Enterprise is gorgeous, but somehow I don’t get a “feeling” for it. It’s not “home,” anymore. And it seems they destroy it in every movie and build a new one. That’s not how it works.

I’ll get ripped and flamed for this review. I know it. Millennials automatically form ciliated creature gangs to make you conform to their beliefs or be picked on and destroyed. They aren’t even aware they do it—of their metamorphoses…like little yammering jackals, amoebas,  or hissy little sissy snakes 🤠

Anyway, I’m sure many will LOVE this film. So, if you haven’t seen it already—go ahead. You will probably find something you like.

This actress moves beautifully, like a leopard; or a stripe-ed kinda thingie.


That’s about it. Nebulous plot as they probe the nebula…..

Oh… and I note that brother Pine is 1/2 Jewish 🤠

Go, Chris!






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